Hey Beautiful Soul,
If you are waiting for someone to love you before you love yourself (to the fullest!) first; you are guaranteed to find yourself with someone who is also living in a lack of love mentality; and that means the both of you will be in a perpetual state of hunger for the other one to do what desperately needs to be done…and thus in a constant state of neediness.
Um..yeah…that way of being doesn’t really work…and makes for unhealthy relationships. Even if you can swing it for a bit (usually in what’s known as the honeymoon period when you first team up with someone), it’s not going to last for long before the monsters within start rearing their ugly heads. And when these kind of relationships end, it’s usually painful and messy with lots of screaming ~ and suddenly crazy becomes the new normal for the two of you.
There has to be a better way to do this “love” thing.
Because unless you got the self-love mastery going on; you’re going to be pissed off when people don’t give you what you want nor give you what you feel you deserve. This is the formula for what is known as “conditional love”. In other words, if you do this for me and behave the way I want you to; I’ll love you and vice versa.
ouch. no thanks. been there…done that. So not the best way to go about this! You see, there is this other kind of love; what’s actually TRUE LOVE and it’s UNCONDITIONAL and it’s wayyyyyy better than that other love in disguise that people have been dishing out for decades….guess what? It’s not just for kids anymore!!!
But it treads a fine line that we will address later…
for now; just embrace this concept.
At any rate, don’t get all down on yourself too hard for all your past relationships because we all grew up for the most part not getting our needs met and without the “how to survive life” manual and hands-on course that should have been a school requirement or at the very least given to us on our first birthday. Thankfully experience is a great teacher…and I have had my fair share of painful circumstances. I learned the hard way so I could teach you the “easy” way — well, perhaps a faster way truth be told.
But hey, that’s why I get to wear the crown; I’m the Queen of Wands, remember?
The Phoenix that rose from the Ashes to live another day…and who brought back the elixir to share with the world. No small task. but I digress…
Here is the News Flash:
YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOU FIRST!!!
And you gots to love ALL OF YOU!!!! The good, the bad and the friggin’ downright ugly ass bits. Oh, I’m sorry…you say you haven’t got any ugly side and you don’t know what I’m talking about? Time to click on out of here?! haha, think again…your shadow is sitting right next to you and I can see it clear as day. I’ve got news for you; you are going to have to acknowledge this dark thing that follows you everywhere and hear it out and then make peace with it. In essence, tame that thing and make it work for you. That’s right. Embrace and tame. Make it your bitch if you must! (and you must)!
This is just a little introduction to a very big topic we’ll tackle some more down the road…but it’s the biggest piece of the puzzle; so let’s just call it Step One.
Now look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Go ahead, I guarantee you will get a smile right back. And why not? You got it going on; sexy! Imperfect perfection never looked so good!
Btw, here’s a secret, the more you keep loving yourself; the more you will radiate that love from the inside out and the more people will be drawn to you. You will be a magnet. But it’s got to be the real deal…we’re not talking about being selfish or cocky…that’s ego stuff. We are talking about treating yourself like you want to be treated. And embracing the wonderful, brilliant radiant being that you are…shining brightly in your own truth.
More on the specifics of the “art of loving” in a future post. Let’s just digest this small tidbit for now.