How many times have you dishonored yourself by submitting to someone else’s desires and wants that didn’t line up with your own? We do this because we have been conditioned to believe that we are supposed to do these things out of love or duty or some type of payback system. There is nothing loving about taking your own desires and needs out of the equation when quite simply you’re not feeling it. And the reason you aren’t feeling it is probably because you’ve been sacrificing yourself and you own needs and wants for far too long with this person or persons and the plain fact is IT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD ANYMORE.
Now our children in these scenarios are different stories. We decided to bring them into the world and therefore, they are our responsibilities. We owe them our attention and dedication and unwavering love because we created them and we don’t get to stop doing that because sometimes we aren’t in the mood. They need our loyalty because they are not adults yet and depend on us.
If you are an adult, your dependency lies on you being dependent on you. Indeed.
Right about now, you might be wondering WAIT, WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE you were talking about in the last post? This is getting confusing!!!
Ah yes, let me explain….you see Love isn’t about doing things you will feel resentful about later…that’s not what love is. Sacrificing your own self on a continual basis to serve another without BALANCE is not gonna gel. And loving someone is an act all of itself; it’s NOT some form of bondage. It has to be given without expectation, without payback, and without stifling another.
But wait, didn’t you just say Love was about BALANCE? An even exchange?!
No, I didn’t say that. That’s what a relationship must entail. AHA; you see ~ Love isn’t necessarily a relationship…that’s a horse of a different color. Love exists on it’s own merit; of it’s own design. Love and Relationships are two different things. Now combined they are quite extraordinary and quite satisfying but that’s for another post.
And anyway, this post was supposed to be about LOYALTY. So be loyal to yourself. FIRST and FOREMOST. Learn to say “NO” if you don’t want to do something…and if you are in a relationship; your partner must understand that and NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Because it’s just you being YOU. And that’s why you are here…to be as much YOU as YOU can possibly be.
Remember that, and don’t freak out when your partner says “no” to you too. Communication of course is the ideal in all circumstances. BE HONEST about communicating your truths with tact, love and understanding.